My friend Keith Longwell and I needed to raise money for a 5K race being hosted by our high school (even though we both graduated from different high schools almost 20 years ago). We went to a shopping mall where we ran into Mary Rechenmacher, someone I knew growing up. She was working for Citibank and said she'd help me get the money.
We went to Citibank where she worked and she gave me a credit application which I dashed off as fast as possible. I didn't know what amount we needed for the race, so I just put $30,000. As I was doing this, I confessed to her that I didn't think it would take this much work to get a loan, and she asked me if I'd researched this funding at all. Duh! Of course not. Then Mary asked me something like, "Didn't you at least get an Abbey Report?" I was like, wtf is an abbey report? Apparently, in my distorted and mostly-fictitious world of sleep, and Abbey Report is a type of revenue report.
I left the bank resigned to the fact that I wasn't going to get any money.
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