Chicks hate me, but at least I have a gun

I went back to Korea to visit and somehow found myself living with Jisun (my ex-gf from when I lived there) and Da Hae (Jisun's coworker from Hongik Universtiy). Jisun never actually appeared - it was just me & Da Hae in the apartment. I was kind of hitting on her and she said something like "even if I see you naked you won't take my innocence!" See, Da Hae's one of those Christian types.

Da Hae showed me how to use Hongik U's internal IM system, so I started talking to both her and Jisun through this thing. It was pretty brief, but then it all kind of shifted into this whole thing where I was shooting people and trying to figure out how people in Korea can fax certain OBJECTS to each other, like carpet samples.

I found myself running around this building with a gun (which had a silencer) and I was with somebody who was, um, "showing me the ropes" or something. We were sneaking around and my partner shot a couple of people but one of them got up and ran away. I chased after him, went up a few flights of stairs to the top of the building and assumed he got away, then on the way down I found him just sitting there on the stairs looking at me! Dumbass. I shot him in the chest and said "outta my way". See what a badass I am? Just call me BMF.

When I went back downstairs I was in some kind of store and I asked a couple of kids about the faxing of objects and they explained it to me... people could fax colors to each other, which then get applied to objects. Or something like that. Whatever it was, it was pretty screwy. Oddly enough, the kids were white, not Korean. You'd think I'd find Korean kids in the store since we were in Korea, but not this time.

Near the end of it all, I decided that I wanted to stay in Korea for good and I started wondering how I could afford it. Not sure what happened after that, but the one thing I can be certain of is that Da Hae never gave it up! She knows better than to mess around with creeps like me.

My Naperville shoe store sucks!

I bought a pair of running shoes at some department store... let's just say it was Kohl's because I would never buy them at an expensive place. So at Kohl's, I paid about $60 and they threw in a free bottle of Michael Jordan cologne! Oooh what a deal. It was a manufacturer promo, so you'd think that the free cologne would be available everywhere the shoes are sold, right? Well...

After buying the shoes I was like, wait a minute, I own a shoe store in downtown Naperville! I should have just bought the shoes there to (a) save me money, and (b) score a sale for the register. I went to my shoe store and got the same pair of shoes, but when my employee rang me up it was $200 and no free cologne. WTF?? No way was I forking over $200 (even to my own business), and I asked the girl about the cologne. Not only was she clueless, she also didn't give a shit.

At that point, I started to talk about how it's important to know the promos and whether or not we should lower prices. Then my brain somehow realized how incredibly boring this dream was getting and it kicked me into a weird game of Starcraft where my base was about 2 feet from the other guy's and I was going around trying to make cannons. Still not the most exciting dream, but at least it wasn't a lame retail store meeting.

(On the plus side, the two girls working at my store were pretty hot. Not exactly Sports Illustrated bikini material, but more like Girls-Gone-Wild hot.)

Jacob Gepeghetti is illiterate

I dreamed about being at a casino with my friend Cory and someone else... possibly Nik?... but frankly that dream wasn't very interesting. I remember bits and pieces such as having to stand on my toes to see the pass line on a very tall craps table and trying to arrange transportation from the casino to Bangkok (apparently we were in Thailand), but overall that dream was pretty boring.

Things got more interesting in this other dream where I was at a school or something. I had dropped a big can of Suave deoderant (the kind that sprays on) and I went back to get it. Instead I found a smaller can of Suave, so I figured hey what the hell, it's just a spray so I'll use it anyway. Then this guy who was nearby said that the deoderant belonged to his friend, but I could have it.

Somehow we got to talking and we decided to go to the cafeteria which I had just walked out of a few minutes earlier. Along the way, this guy had to step away for a minute and while he was gone I noticed a metal nameplate on one of his things that said "Jacob Gepeghetti". Who the hell is Jacob Gepeghetti in real life? No idea!

So Jacob came back and we were talking, and he told me that he had just joined the army and that he'd be going to Iraq. I asked what his job in the army would be, and he said that he got put into the "illiterate army" because he can't read. Naturally, the illiterate army goes to the front line (if there is such a thing in modern battles) which made perfect sense to me... let the dummies die first, right?

The rest of the dream got too hazy to describe in any detail, but it's a little weird to remember an actual name from a dream. Jacob, if you're reading this, LEARN TO READ!! Wait, that doesn't make any sense...

Wikis... the wave of the future?

Last night's dream is a little cloudy (as most are), but it definitely had something to do with wikis, as in Wikipedia, or any kind of site like that where content is created, moderated, and edited entirely by users.

In my dream, everybody and their mother was creating wiki sites! It was the new, hot thing on the internet, like the explosion of social networking a few years back. Someone had created a wiki called Nigggo.com - yes, with three Gs - and I thought, hmm that almost sounds racist. And then fried food somehow got involved! I'm pretty sure it was the same dream because I had a whole plan for frying foods in a certain order, like that was somehow going to help me get into the wiki business.

Maybe I'm onto something here? With Wikimedia gearing up to take on Google in the search business, wiki could indeed be The Next Big Thing.

NCHS at the airport

You know how your dreams sometimes blend together and you're not sure if you had one dream that skipped to different locations or if you had a few different dreams? I had one of those last night.

Part of it involved my friend Eric who was trying to figure out where his wife works so that he could call her. Flash forward to a cruise ship where someone was asking me if I was interested in shooting a fish with a gun (trust me, I wasn't).

The biggest chunk of dream that I remember was at an airport. I was picking up my car... not sure if I had just gotten off a plane or not... and I ran into Steve Forsythe. Steve and I met in 2nd grade at Steeple Run when my family first moved to Naperville (ok, we really lived in Lisle), and we went to the same schools all the way up to high school at NCHS.

So Steve and I started walking, and then he ran into someone else he knew.. not sure who, though. Walked some more and he found Kim Redmond, a girl from Naperville Central! And Kim was looking HOT. Back in the day, Kim was the resident Hot Blonde. Every class has one, and Kim Redmond was it for the class of '89. In case you're wondering... no, she wasn't a bitch. She was actually really nice.

So Steve, Kim, and I started walking out of the airport to a hotdog stand and suddenly I realized that I didn't need a hotdog, I needed to get my car. In order to do that I had to take my claim check to a guy and pay him. So I ditched the high school people and tried to run to the parking guy but I could only run really slowly. It was like the pavement was a treadmill or something because I couldn't go very fast no matter how hard I tried.

Somewhere along the way I found a very shiny quarter and picked it up, and then I finally got to the place to pay for parking. Steve was there and he said something about Las Vegas and eating nothing but a can of beans, and then I finally gave the parking guy my claim check.

After that, the dream transitioned into something else entirely but I'm not sure what. I think it had something to do with the environment.

For a first dream, this was pretty lame... unless your name is Steve Forsythe or Kim Redmond (in which case it might be a little creepy). Sorry about that.

I'm gonna post something soon

I just have to have a dream worth remembering! Don't worry, it usually doesn't take too long for that to happen.